In addition to the standard high school classes, Reedley International School has a class called “Life Skills” — an 80 minute per week course teaching students how to maintain a healthy disposition in life and be effective communicators.

“Life-skills is a program where students learn the best tools to strengthen their character and leadership skills, and enhance relationships with peers, parents, and society,” Ong said.

The program emphasizes three things: values formation, self-regulation, and working with others, all of which significantly contribute to shaping competent, integral and consequently, successful individuals.

Interesting and brilliant. Most people are unable to maintain healthy relationships, have anger management problems, and are just have something WRONG in their heads.

Several articles has been written lauding or referring to the program at the Filipino Voices, Reedley blog, Business Mirror and Philippine Star. Everything sounds idealistic and nice but implementing is another issue. A friend who studied there told me that “it was a useless class, well at least for our batch.”

This is something parents should be building. Character building, values formation, self-regulation, and delayed gratification. Happy disposition for the win!

Over the year after I’ve left the university, I noticed something that occurs simultaneously with graduation. All of a sudden, all the golden long-term couples are breaking up. The reasons vary: jobs, personality differences, cold feet, etc. I was always surprised and curious whenever I heard such news. After a year chock full of break-up gossip, the novelty wore off. I can only conclude that graduation is indeed the break-up season.

I attended a seminar about dating and marriage, which was required for my Theology class. Most people were scoffing over it and I pretended to scoff along. I didn’t want anyone to think I’m interested in a self-help dating seminar. Secretly though, I was curious what the speaker has to say.

I've been dating... now what?

There were two rules:

1. If you’re single: collect, collect, and then select.

This one’s not too bad. Date around, yeah.

2. If you’re taken, break-up. Then do number 1.

Omgwtfbbqlolnubcopterbye?

Imagine the aghast and shocked expressions of everyone in the room. Okay, sure, there were other rules that I don’t remember anymore. Not so important though; these two stood out.

The speaker Maribel Dionisio anticipated everyone’s reaction and just smiled. She proceed to explain that college teenager relationships don’t last. By the time we graduate, she said, we’d outgrow each other and would go on on our own ways.

Some were staunch defenders. Jesuit education brainwashed us to believe that love is not just a feeling but implies a commitment. From Scott Peck’s ‘The Road less Traveled,‘ love is “the will to extend onself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth… The person who truly loves does so because of decision to love.”

The Scott Peck equation: ALT-F4 != Love

In retrospect, the speaker had good intentions. We’re young and most are not yet aware of what we want in life. Only one’s meant to be THE ONE while the rest are meant to be your exes.

Graduation changed a lot of people. I’ve heard some of my batch mates becoming wilder while others settled and became a one-man-woman. Some chose to leave the country. Some chose to follow their significant others to that country.

It’s sad that to hear that people choose to end their relationship. It makes me wonder: how different are they? What did they fight about? What can two people in college fight about that’s so important anyway? I can’t think of anything so great that it requires breaking up. It’s just the dating part; marriage would bring more problems with greater gravity.

Unless of course you never really loved each other in the first place.

Perhaps the speaker was right after all.